I Got Into Comedy So I Could

When You Did Impressions On 'madtv,' The Producers Gave You A Walkman That Played Huge Sections Of Whatever Movie Was Being Parodied, With Your Character's Catchphrases Recorded On A Loop. You'd Wear This Thing Around During Rehearsals And For A Week Listen To The Voice You Had To Impersonate Over And Over Again. It Drove All Of Us Crazy.

I Ain't Apologizing For Anything, Especially If It's A Joke.

I Am Not The Easiest Guy To Live With. It Is Probably The Lack Of Stability In My Life.

A-rod Wants To Be Like Babe Ruth. And People Don't Realize This, He's A Lot Like Babe Ruth. Before The Playoffs A Couple Of Years Ago, A-rod Went To The Hospital And Promised A Dying Kid He'd Ground Out To Second For Him.

I Found A Way For Her To Fall Asleep, Paris Hilton, Talk To Herself.