I Am Not A Glutton - I

My Mother Won't Admit It, But I've Always Been A Disappointment To Her. Deep Down Inside, She'll Never Forgive Herself For Giving Birth To A Daughter Who Refuses To Launder Aluminium Foil And Use It Over Again.

A Friend Will Tell You She Saw Your Old Boyfriend - And He's A Priest.

The Odds Of Going To The Store For A Loaf Of Bread And Coming Out With Only A Loaf Of Bread Are Three Billion To One.

Mother's Words Of Wisdom: Answer Me! Don't Talk With Food In Your Mouth!

A Grandparent Will Accept Your Calls From Anywhere, Collect.