Hey, What If Those Crop Circles Are

I'm Sorry, Those Pictures From The Abu Ghraib. At First, They, Like Infuriated Me, I Was Sad. Then Like, A Couple Days Later, After They Cut The Guy's Head Off, They Didn't Seem Like Much. And Now, I Like To Trade Them With My Friends.

I Love This Country For Several Reasons, Not The Least Of Which Is That I Know I'm Allowed To Hate It If I Want To.

Any Time Your Parent Says They Party With You, That Is Its Own Form Of Child Abuse.

[the Internet] ... Is An Amazing Communications Tool That's Bringing The Whole World Together. I Mean, You Sit Down To Sign On To America Online In Your Hometown, And It's Just Staggering To Think That At The Same Moment, Halfway Around The World, In China, Someone You've Never Met Is Sitting At Their Computer, Hearing The Exact Same Busy Signal That You're Hearing.

I Have A Nice House. And When Somebody Says It's A Palace, I Always Feel Like We're Digging A Little Or Something.