He Opened A Window In My Heart,

The Mayor Of Sochi Is Now Saying That There Are No Gay People In Sochi. So The Only Thing That Is Flaming Over There Now Is The Olympic Torch.

Vladimir Putin Said The Tanks That You See Rolling Through The Streets Are Just Part Of The Closing Ceremonies Of The Olympics.

Mitt Romney Is Not Going To Run For President. Mitt Said It's Time For Fresh Faces. So That's Good News For Bruce Jenner.

There's A Rumor That President George Bush Had A Nose Job, That He Had Some Kind Of Plastic Surgery, That He Actually Had A Nose Job. If This Is True, That's The First New Job He's Created Since Taking Office.

I Know You're On The Atkins Diet, But Could You Stop Eating Bacon During Sex?