Having A Beard Is A Good Way

The Problem With My Balloon Collection Is That People Always Think There's A Party. Settle Down. It's Not A Party. It's Just Balloons.

If I Ever Saw An Amputee Getting Hanged, I'd Probably Just Start Calling Out Letters.

I Hate Seeing People That Look Like You. Especially If God's Living By The Motto 'if At First You Don't Succeed.'

I Remember When I Used To Be Really Into Nostalgia.

I Think It Would Be Worse To Get Mauled By A Dancing Bear Than Just A Regular Bear Because You Can't Totally Blame The Dancing Bear.