Everyone I Love I Pay.

The Other Day My Twelve-year-old Says To Me, I Don't Feel Like I'm With You Right Now. You're In The Car With Me, You're Checking Your E-mail, You're Not Listening To Me, I Don't Feel Like I'm With You. And I Say, You Know What? That Was Your Mother's Gripe, Too. And She Was Right. And You're Also Correct. When You Cop To Something, You Get To The Next Level. In This Case, The Next Level Is: I Just Learned Something From My Twelve-year-old.

I Think Comedy Is On An Organic Upsurge Right Now Because When I Started, It Was 1978 At The Comedy Store And Letterman Had Just Stopped Emceeing His Morning Show.

I Have No Agenda, Nothing To Control.

When Someone You Love Is Hurting, If It Was Possible, You'd Want To Take Their Pain For Them. But Do I Really Want Cramps And Sore Boobs?

Today Is The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Life. And If That Doesn't Work Out For You, Tomorrow Is The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Life.