Every Time I Go Near The Stove,

The Only Time I Ever Enjoyed Ironing Was The Day I Accidentally Got Gin In The Steam Iron.

When You Play Spin The Bottle, If They Don't Want To Kiss You They Have To Give You A Quarter. Well, Hell, By The Time I Was Twelve Years Old I Owned My Own Home.

I Will Never Give Up. I Am In My 14th Year Of A 10-day Beauty Plan.

Once Fang Took Pep Pills And They Worked - The Only Time He Ever Ran To Bed.

Your Husband Is Lazy If The Directions On His Medicine Say, "a Teaspoon Before Going To Bed," And In One Day He Uses Seven Bottles.