England Is Very Dreary, But I'm A

Every Day Someone Notices Me And Waves To Me, Or Stops And Speaks To Me, Or Asks Me For An Autograph, Or Photographs Me.

Exhibitionism Is Like A Drug. Hooked In Adolescence I Was Now Taking Doses So Massive They Would Have Killed A Novice.

Though Intelligence Is Powerless To Modify Character, It Is A Dab Hand At Finding Euphemisms For Its Weaknesses.

Manners Are A Way Of Getting What You Want Without Appearing To Be An Absolute Swine.

In Most Cases An Act Of Unwelcome Sex Is No More Bother Than Being Vaccinated, So There's No Point Going On About It As If It Werea Fate Worse Than Death. With Skill And Good Manners You Can Avoid Having To Make The Sacrifice, But Should You Find Yourself In A Compromising Situation Largely Of Your Own Making, You Should Stop Defending Your Virtue And Start Worrying About Your Maturity. It Will Give You Something To Think About While The Savage Pumper Bangs Away.