Comedy Writers Have The Most Fragile Egos.

There Are Little Indian Girls Out There Who Look Up To Me, And I Never Want To Belittle The Honor Of Being An Inspiration To Them. But While I’m Talking About Why I’m So Different, White Male Show Runners Get To Talk About Their Art.

Listen, My Body Is Attracted To Your Body But When You Speak It Makes My Brain Angry.

I Don't Have Very Much Time To Surf The Net, Because It's As Though My Boss Has A Tracking Device On Me. The Instant I'm Looking At A Chloe Sweater On Shopbop, I'll Get A Call In My Office With A Pa Asking: "paul Wants To Know Where You Are And Why You're Not In The Writers Room, And If Maybe You're Online Shopping."

It's Really Sweet When People Tweet At Me And Say I'm Their Spirit Animal Or 'i Wish She Was My Best Friend,' Which Is The Nicest Compliment. For Me, It's Like, Doing Television Is So Personal Because You're In People's Homes, So The Fact That People Feel That Way Means So Much To Me.

Future Hipsters Will Love Me Ironically.