Boxers Don't Have Sex Before A Fight.

Swimming Is Good For You, Especially If You're Drowning. Not Only Do You Get A Cardiovascular Workout But Also You Don't Die.

My Girlfriend Bought A Cook Book The Other Day Called 'cheap And Easy Vegetarian Cooking'. Which Is Perfect For Her, Because Not Only Is She Vegetarian.

As Soon As I Did My First Five Minutes Of Stand-up I Knew That I Would Rather Be A Failure At Comedy Than A Success In Marketing.

But What's True About Comedians Is That We've All Got A Huge Hole In Our Personality. In A Room Of 3,000 People, We're The One Person Facing In The Opposite Direction - Yet We Have This Overwhelming Desire To Be Liked.

I Don't See Myself As Offending People.