As Far As The Men Who Are

In The Way That Women Forget The Pain Of Childbirth, Men Forget That They Cry In Movies.

So, Twice A Week, I Go To A Beauty Salon And Have My Hair Blown Dry. It’s Cheaper By Far Than Psychoanalysis, And Much More Uplifting.

Food Is One Of My Favourite Things. Though I Certainly Know Lots Of People Who Happen To Be Happily Married Who Don't Have Food Play The Role In It That It Plays In My Life. And I Don't Know How They Do It, And Frankly I Feel So Bad For Them Because I Just Love Food And One Of My Favourite Things Is Asking, "what Do We Want For Dinner? What Do We Feel Like Eating?" That Wonderful Negotiation That Goes On Several Times A Week About What "we" Feel Like.

Working As A Journalist Is Exactly Like Being The Wallflower At An Orgy. I Always Seem To Find Myself At A Perfectly Wonderful Event Where Everyone Else Is Having A Marvelous Time, Laughing Merrily, Eating, Drinking, Having Sex In The Back Room, And I Am Standing On The Side Taking Notes On It All.

You Always Think That A Bolt Of Lightning Is Going To Strike And Your Parents Will Magically Change Into The People You Wish They Were, Or Back Into The People They Used To Be.